OH WISE ONE

Setting: The summit of a remote Tibetan mountain.

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Oh, wise one, tell me everything I need to know.

No.

Why not?

Because then you will not learn it.

Why won’t I learn it from you telling me?

Because you must learn from experience.

Why is experience so important? Why can’t we just cut to the chase and you tell me what I need to know?

Because the things you need to know can’t be told. The things you need to know can only be learned by experience.

But I need to know the things I need to know to help me experience things properly.

The ability to experience things properly will come after you have experienced what you need to experience to come to know how to experience things properly.

(Mumbles) …jesus wept.

Pardon?

…nothing. Listen, I think I’ve experienced quite enough. Really. It’s not helping. How about you share the joy here and just tell me what I need to know?

If I told you then you would not learn. You would just remember what I told you for a while and then probably forget.

I promise I won’t forget.

Can you keep that promise?

Sure!

Sure?

OK, maybe not.

I thought not.

Right, I want my money back.

You didn’t pay me anything.

Yeah, …well …I think you’re being a bit of a fuckin dick to be honest. Here I am, after coming all this way, climbing mountains and being chased by yetis and all that, and all you do is give me that old flannel. Yeah, fuck you pal and fuck the smug little Yoda set up you have going on here. I’m off home.

The sooner you leave the better oh curious one for you have a loooooonnnnng road to travel.